Update on the Ali Babba-ster
Now Playing: "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots
Topic: Matt is Awesome
Updated August 3, 2003
WOW! It has been forever and a day since I updated this website. Now that I finally have the time to do so, let me bring the world up to speed.
Basically, I have a completely new life. Yep! I scraped everything and started over.
To say that I was utterly unhappy towards the end of my marriage is an understatement. My husband, Mike, well, he wanted to be friends and not have any children. He said he wasn't in love with me anymore, but he still wanted to live with me. NO WAY JOSE! I couldn't be in a loveless relationship without children for the rest of my life.
SO, I decided to leave Mike and I did so with a great deal of support from my friends and family. It was very difficult because I felt like a failure. I couldn't be what he wanted me to be, and he didn't love me anymore. My self-esteem was the size of a dried up pea. I moved into my own apartment. After a great trip to Las Vegas and a fabulous vacation in Kansas, I started to pursue a relationship with a very good friend who had shown some interest in me, but had done little to nothing about it.
Well, time passed quickly in 2002. I was in therapy and discovering the me I had covered up and left for dead when I submitted myself to Mike. I say it like that because in the beginning I wanted to do anything to make him love me or please him. That meant suppressing a great deal of my true wants. Well, hell with that now.
NOW, I am me and I love it.
I decided to leave my career as an Administrator and Grant Manager (acting Chief Financial Officer from time to time) with the Blue Lake Rancheria Tribe in Northern California and move from California to Kansas. Yes, KANSAS! It meant leaving my choirs- The Merry Melody Makers, and the UCC Choir, but it was something I had to do. They all understood and were very supportive.
Well, I fell in love with my friend, Matt. Yep. Here it is world...the truth of the matter. Matt fell in love with me, and I loved him in return. It felt right immediately and neither one of us has looked back.
My divorce was final November 13, 2002 I moved to Kansas November 17, 2002 leaving California and my former life behind me. Some of my so called friends (like MICHELE) have treated me like the plague since I left and never want to speak to me again. Why I don't know? She said she felt slighted because someone told her that I didn't want to see her when I returned to California to pick up the rest of my belongings in March of 2003. That was a bunch of bull! I never said anything like that, but Michele was a very sweet and very easily swayed person, believing lies that Kim told her about me. Well, whatever. Too bad so sad for her. She wrote me a nasty email saying she never wanted to see me again and really hurt my feelings. Can you tell it pissed me off? Damn straight it did! All I have to say is that those people who didn't want me to leave them in California are WAY jealous that I am so happy...finally. I am grateful for good friends that still keep in touch like Jeanette, Arla, TallChief, and Bruce...and of course Tim and Yarrow in Hawaii. Some people just don't deal with change well. Therapy taught me to stand up for myself and not let others take advantage of me. Some of those I left in California told me that I had changed and was being demanding and bitchy. I took it as a compliment, since they were the ones that kept on asking me to cover for them time and again, and I simply refused to do it anymore. Perhaps they will see that they need some work on themselves.
Well, I moved to Kansas, married Matt on New Year's Eve (12/31/2002). We are very happy and looking forward to the future and children together. Matt already has two kids, Kyle and Michelle, and they are both adorable and I love them to pieces.
On the career front, I got a job on December 13 for Wichita Public Schools as a Budget Analyst for Grant Funds. I started my job on December 30th and it has been one heck of a ride ever since. I love my job, and all my fellow budget staff members. My bosses, Linda and Ronda are fabulous and inspirational.
What can I say? I am happier than I ever thought I would be, and feel more like me than I ever have. Life is fabulous!!!