Mood:  don't ask

It's been veritable eons since I have sat down and really blogged. Why is that? Well, Facebook and DDO have been absorbing my time really. Honestly though, I wasn't blogging because I wasn't interested in sharing the reality of my life recently. So much has happened, where do I begin other than the fact that I have been trying to escape from it all into my fantasy world of Dungeons and Dragons online.

Mostly - things in my life are great. I have the most loving thoughtful husband in the world, and good people I call my friends who are standing by me through it all. Yet, what is this "all" I am talking about?

The economy has taken a tremendous toll on the Kansas State Revenue projections for 2010. I know that the economy is bad all the way around, but just today, Kansas City Schools announced that they are closing 28 of their schools to cut $50,000,000 from their budget and prevent their school district from going bankrupt. Things at Wichita Public Schools aren't so bad, but it isn't all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows.

USD259 is facing a $25,000,000 budget cut because the state can't afford to reimburse us what they are supposed to right now so they have lowered what they are going to reimburse us per child next year, which just so happens to start July 1, 2010. As I am a budget analyst working in the budget office, I am not only working on various issues related to this, but am working on the American Reinvestment and Recovery Act (ARRA) money that is helping plug the holes in the district budget caused by the State of Kansas' current revenue crisis. Stressful doesn't even begin to describe it.

Since September, the district has received nearly $25 million in State Stabilization Funds (SFSF) from the ARRA because Kansas State Department of Education (KSDE) could not afford to pay their portion of the district's General Fund and Supplemental General Fund (aka the Local Option Budget "LOB"). Just today I was working on a report that compiled just how much money the district received and how many full time employees (FTE) had their jobs retained due to this funding. It was shocking, but nearly $25M pays for over 400 people. If not for the ARRA funds for SFSF, 400+ people wouldn't have jobs right now.

Besides all that craziness at work trying to figure out all that needs to get done, Matt and I have been dealing with the prospect of unemployment insurance running out. Thankfully, he was hired on at TECT to do temporary work last week! That's only a four month guarantee. He's got feelers out there, and hopefully (fingers crossed) everything will go well with Spirit interviews/trainings/testing and he'll secure a full time job. Spirit is the parts supplier for Boeing Aircraft (used to be a part of Boeing or something) anyway, Spirit and Boeing work hand in hand on the Dreamliner and various other aircraft. For pretty much the last decade, we've (the greater Wichita area) have been waiting for Boeing to finally be picked for the new Air Force refueling tanker contract from the Pentagon. There was a huge scandal a few years back with Boeing and the Pentagon mucky mucks who award contracts, and then Airbus/Northrup Grumman was  awarded the contract which then Boeing challenged, and now FINALLY after what has seemed like forever, it looks like Boeing will get the contract. With that many planes to build, Spirit and Boeing have like 20 years of plane building on contract with the government. Enough time for Matt to work there a nice long time - we hope. Aircraft has been unstable for the last two decades, but was looking up in the late 90's. Then had a set back due to 9/11, and then started to rebound again...UNTIL...the recession AND THEN, the various comments made about CEOs and company planes by Washington DC people which then caused a HUGE crash in the private jet market. 12,000 people have been laid off in this area from the aircraft industry, and it is hurting.

Now, back in November 2008, I was pretty confident that we could live on my salary alone, and we have for the most part. We've put away more than 75% of what Matt made last year on unemployment and the few months of temporary work he did for TECT. I'm proud of our penny pinching. We now have a nest egg to fall back on should the need arise. Still, it has been UN-FUN to say the least, not knowing what the future might bring. I've watched houses in Wellington become vacant and go up for sale. The population of our town has shrunk by 500 in the last two years. The Apple Market grocery store closed two weeks ago. Taco Tico/Simple Simon closed months ago, as did Love's Gas Station. Now, Movie Gallery - the only video store in town - is closing its doors. Even the check cashing place has closed. Wellington has been dying a slow death since Wal-Mart moved in 20 years ago, but that only accelerated when the Super Wal-Mart opened two years ago Thanksgiving. The sad thing is that Wal-Mart is benefitting during this economy and all the small businesses in town are collapsing. It is depressing to drive by boarded up buildings in need of repair. I am wondering how long it is before Wellington looks like Flint, Michigan with vast stretches of vacant houses and store fronts.

What have I been doing lately though to try and keep out of this funk of the depressing economy? Well, I started knitting with ladies at work in 2009. I still haven't finished my first scarf yet, but that is more because I don't remember how to cast off and keep forgetting to take the scarf to work on Wednesday's for the knitting circle (aka Fiber Studies Class) we have at lunch.

I have also been cooking up a storm for friends and family. We have had three murder mystery dinners in the last year. I've posted two of them on my blog in the past, but just this February 13th we had a Roman Ruins Murder Mystery dinner. Everyone dressed in togas, except Matt who was in Roman armor. I researched ancient Roman cuisine for months and created as authentic a 36 BC meal I could create without actually marinating and fermenting sardines and mackeral in a clay jar for a month to recreate Roman garum. Yeah, we passed on that one at dinner! Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of the food. Good news though, is I did take pictures of the friends in togas and such.

We hosted a "Welcome Home" party for a friend that was away on work related business for more than six weeks in late 2009, and I've started collecting copper tin lined jello molds for all the various salads, and neat baked things I make. I can't wait to try my mother-in-law Debbie's Tune Braid receipe modified to fit in the jumping fish mold I now own. Should be fun if I can perfect it in time for her and Ed's next visit - tuna braid shaped like a fish! I am also collecting more cooking and buffet / catering items for the future. I now have three full size chaffing dishes for a real wedding buffet kind of thing. Robin and Ronda (from whom I buy Pampered Chef items) have loved me dropping some dough at their parties the last few years - this past year being now exception. I opted for more Pampered Chef and no new clothing for myself.

I've really let the Christmas letter thing go the last two years. What was I going to say to people - Hi there, my mother's family is dropping like flies (Grandpa & Aunt Ardith in 2008 - Aunt Corrine & Uncle Harold in 2009) and oh yeah, my poor Grandmother is suffering from Alzheimer's? My father and step-mother's families are also dying off - my Aunt Adeline passed away, and my step-mother's brother died too in 2009. SIX relatives gone in two years!

Nobody really wants to hear about the real life of a blended family - do they? Kyle had a really rough 2008 when his mother got remarried to her high school sweetheart in August. He started acting out because he had no release for his anger. Is that Christmas letter worthy? He's better now, but we'll just have to wait and see how things go when his mother gives birth to his baby half-sister in June who will be 12 years his junior.  He's doing well with his percussion and loves video games and hard rock music - besides all that his voice is deepening, he's starting to grow a backbone and is sticking up for himself at school and has all A's except for one B in beginning band. Michelle seems to be taking all of this in stride, but she's quiet and keeps to herself. She's a straight A student with a charming whit and beloved by all - yeah, people don't want to hear that do they? She's an awesome young lady who plays the flute, knows the saxophone a little, loves to draw, is totally creative - she rocks. People read that kind of stuff in Christmas letters and they retch right?

My life isn't all doom and gloom though, seriously. My thyroid medication is doing its job and I've lost nearly 70 pounds since August 2009. Now if I can only get rid of intermittent Athelete's Foot! I do need new glasses. I've blogged a lot about my health towards the end of my last active session of blogging, but what's really been going on lately.

LIFE - the daily wear and tear of life. Paying State Income Taxes, watching my home filing pile up. Trying to figure out how to afford to have the house painted and buying a new car for Matt and for me! Wondering when the next email will arrive telling me my Great Aunt Mary Ann has passed away or when my Great Aunt Cecelia will go - both in their 90's and hanging on despite recent poor health. I'm getting older and I am watching it all happen, and I cling to Matt for reassurance, as the planner and rationalist in my hates uncertainty but knows that the future is always uncertain, and thus you plan for everything you can plan for just in case. I HATE to worry, but it seems like that is all I do anymore. Who is next to die, who will I need to take care of in the near future, who will need what from me when? Will Kyle need braces? What if Michelle decides she really doesn't want any - what will her partially straight teeth say about her in this society judges everyone by looks? Will she be excluded or looked over because her teeth aren't perfect - silly as it sounds, it has happened to people I work with, who have taken corrective measures to have their teeth fixed while in their 40's to advance their careers. I don't want that to be Michelle's fate, but what can I do - I have no voice on that matter.

See - these aren't things for an end of the year letter, and they sure as hell aren't things for a quick phone call shared between friends every few months. This is serious LIFE stuff that might see pointless even in this blog, but piled upon each other over months and months of other things even too sensative to mention here or on random Facebook status updates, it adds up to...reality...and it is pretty heavy. - Now - have I just lost my membership to the Secret Society of Happy People?