Mood:  down

Ancestry.com is the place I have been hanging out lately, especially with everyone seeming to drop dead lately. I just updated my Aunt Ardith’s information. It’s hard to deal with right now, and I know I need to, but I just can’t seem to get it out yet.

Matt’s father, Ed, sent me a package of family history. It has been daunting to say the least to figure out what everything means and where it goes. It is double sided whereas the original was not, so it’s very hard to follow. I’ve stapled it so it is in better order now, more like a book. Anyway, now that I figured out what was causing the issue and how it was organized, I have been inputting the data into the family tree. WOW – it is a lot of information.

Matt was sitting next to me while I was laughing and inputting information. He asked why I was laughing and I told him he had over seven relatives with the name Thomas somewhere in their name – first or middle. He sighed. Before I started researching his family, he had thought that only he and his father (he didn’t think about the fact that his father is really a Jr.) had the name Thomas, so he gave his son Kyle the middle name Thomas. Now he thinks he should have named him something other than Thomas. It’s just funny to think about. I told him not to worry, it was the same with Joseph and John or Elizabeth in my family. AND – I had wanted to name a son after my father – good grief another Joseph John! Well – we made a firm pact that our children are going to have oddball names that don’t relate to anything in our family. Granted weren’t going to pull a Nicholas Cage and name our son Kal-El or a Bruce & Demi and name the poor children Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah Belle – no, nothing that bad.

We’ve deceived on Xander Dane for a boys name – that’s for sure. I suggested Christopher William and he stared at me and said no – no Christopher Robbins for us! I of course still like Boinaiv or Zyriam for girls names along with Allegra and Corrine, but Matt’s not too sure about girls names. I really want a name that has meaning or significance to us culturally and familiarly. I have been looking for something to connect me with my various cultures. Here is a brief list of names and their meanings that I like:

Boinaiv – Shoshone Indian name meaning Grass Maiden (was Sacajawea’s name before she was kidnapped and enslaved by the Mandan people)

Aušrine – Lithuanian in origin, it is the name of the Morning Star, the name of the Lithuanian goddess of the morning.

Anayis – Armenian in origin, meaning Chaste

Allegra – Itlaian for happy or jaunty.

Kiara or Kyara – Italian for clear or bright

Leontyne – Italian for Lion – also after a very famous Soprano Leontyne Price

Reyna – Spanish for Pure and Clean. It is also a variation of Matt’s grandmother and great-grandmother’s name Rena.

I think Reyna Anayis Robbins is a pretty sounding name.

Now, don’t go getting excited. I am not pregnant. I am just musing about family names and whatnot. It’s mostly because of all the dealings I have had with family lately. I called both my grandmother and my great aunt Mary Ann on Saturday and spoke with them at length, as well as speaking to my mother a good long time.

Family – wow – I didn’t think I would let them in or let them get to me, but boy, they really have, you know. I moved to Kansas and put a good 2,000 miles between us hoping that with physical distance would come emotional distance because they have caused me a great deal of pain and worry over the years. That just isn’t so though. Now, it just hard to attend the memorial services, funerals, and celebrations – so I am just absent. I sent flowers for my great aunt Mary Ann’s 90^th birthday. I am of course going to send flowers for Ardith’s memorial service. They are planning on having it on what would have been her 90^th birthday – a celebration of her life. I think I’ll send the same type of white rose bushes I sent to Matt’s grandmother’s birthday. Perhaps if Jeffery and Nancy have Aunt Ardith cremated they can bury the ashes with the rose bushes and they’ll always have a little bit of her in those blossoms. I think white was one of her favorite colors. She always seemed to wear white, ivory or cream. White roses would certainly remind me of her. I wonder what Jeff and Nancy will think.